How Will Our Children Be Remembered?

By Lori Butterworth 

It was 5 p.m. when the couple walked into my office. The man stood still, hat in hand, his head lowered, his hand against his heart. Next to him, head also bowed, stood a woman I presumed to be his wife. It had been a long day, and I was exhausted; I looked forward to finishing my phone call and heading home.

Then, I recognized them. A vivid image of an American Girl doll floated into my head. I remembered their daughter: her beautiful eyes, timid smile, and the doll she had wished for and loved. Two-and-a-half years ago, we gave this modest farmworker couple’s little girl an early Christmas present to ensure she had time to enjoy it before cancer took over her body. She died on Dec. 16, her doll in the bed by her side.

I quickly hung up the phone and stood to greet them. The father hesitated, then slowly made eye contact and handed me… an envelope full of cash. Eight hundred dollars — money they’d saved and some from their fellow farmworkers. It was an offering to thank us for the care and support we had given their little girl, their only child.

“We want you to be able to help other families … en memoria de nuestra hija,” they said.

In the two years since their daughter had passed, we at Jacob’s Heart had reached out to them several times, but for personal reasons, they navigated their loss alone. Now, despite their best efforts to emerge from their suffering, grief would not let go. It bore into their hearts, tore at their loving relationship, infiltrated every aspect of their lives.

We sat for a long time talking, sharing memories. Then, they confided another heartbreaking chapter in their family’s story. When their daughter died, we helped them choose a special grave and buried her at a local cemetery. However, fearing deportation, they made the painful decision to exhume her body and move it to Mexico to make sure they would never be separated from her. Now, unable to visit her on a regular basis and unsure of their own futures, their sorrows and isolation grew.

For nearly 20 years at Jacob’s Heart, we have embraced families like this one. Thrust into a parent’s worst nightmare, we have seen thousands of parents sacrifice all that they can to save their children from cancer. Some, thanks to medicine and luck, emerge triumphant. Others bury their precious children and attempt to rebuild their lives. Never before in all of these years, have I witnessed a story like this one.

My heart sinks when I think about the thousands we have known and loved during the most difficult times of their lives. Every year at Jacob’s Heart, we struggle to keep our doors open knowing that, for many, this the only place that will forever hold their child’s memory and legacy. I am grateful that we were still here when this couple found their way back to Jacob’s Heart.

At Jacob’s Heart, we have the privilege of transcending the political in service of the humane. It’s a sacred, hopeful space far removed from distinctions like “red” or “blue.” We strive to be a place, a home, where the weary can find comfort in the midst the storms that rage around us.

If you have a place like this, you understand how much hope it gives. If you don’t, come find a home here with us. It will do your heart good, and it will help ensure that of our children are remembered with the peace and love they deserve.

Your donation brings hope to children with cancer and their families through essential support addressing emotional, financial, practical and psychosocial challenges faced during one of life’s most difficult journeys.

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Please consider making a donation in memory of this precious little girl, Miss “E” and we’ll share your love with her parents. It will mean a lot to them to know you care. Go to http://www.jacobsheart.org