By Wendy Ballen
The year was 1981, the city, Santa Cruz. I was working as a baker at Staff of Life Bakery, the hippie health food store in Santa Cruz. I had graduated from UC Santa Cruz in 1980 with a bachelor’s degree in art. Sculpture was my thing.
As a work-study job which was part of my college grant, I worked at the coffee shop at Oakes College, where our student housing was. I was famous there for my anatomically correct ginger bread people. The girl cookies had boobs and the boys had, well, you know! The funny thing was that most people just bought the girl cookies.
Wendy Ballen
When I applied for the baker’s job at Staff, Richard, one of the owners, noticed I had a burn scar on my inner wrist. It was the type of burn you get when reaching into the oven to pull out a cookie sheet and accidentally burn yourself on the oven rack. I was hired!
In those days we made a lot of wedding cakes, large birthday cakes and anniversary cakes. Since I was into sculpture, I asked the owners if they would sponsor me for a Cake Art Show. They were in! In 1982 and 1983 I had my Cake Art at the Louden Nelson (now called London Nelson) Community Center in downtown Santa Cruz. I spent weeks designing cakes, and 3 days prepping and building them. It was a blast! There was a large Rolls Royce Cake (Bahagwan Rajneesh folks were all over town), a 3-foot E.T. (the movie had just come out), a Geodesic Gingerbread Dome with a gingerbread person doing yoga inside.
In 1981, I came up with a big idea. Frank Zappa, one of my musical heroes, was playing at the Civic Auditorium that weekend. In the spur of the moment, I plotted a scheme. I would make a half-sheet carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, and sculpt Zappa’s face on top. I’d put on my baker’s apron and hat, take it down to the Civic in a pink baker’s box with a receipt taped to it. I’d go to the back where the roadies would be and pretend someone had ordered the cake.
Frank Zappa
I had a great time making that cake. I used half eggshells for his eyes, and long strands of black licorice for his hair. I made a pretty good likeness of him, boxed it up and drove down to the Civic Auditorium in my1964 Volkswagen hippie van named Orbit.
I pulled up near the big trucks that carried all the equipment, found a couple roadies and asked, “Who ordered the cake?”
They looked really surprised until I opened up the box and then broke out in big smiles. “Wait here,” they said.
They went into the building and returned in a few minutes. They invited me in to a small room in the back, and then walked out.
Frank was sitting at the table with his back to me and his head down. He turned around quickly and faced me. He had a pair of gag glasses that were two stainless steel forks welded together, and he stared at me mischievously through the tines of the forks.
After a minute of small talk, he thanked me for the cake and asked, “Is there anything illegal or immoral in the cake?”
I answered, “Absolutely not, I’m a professional baker from a local bakery.”
His roadies came back in and gave me a pass for the concert (I hadn’t bought a ticket).
I was ecstatic that my scheme was fruitful, and I got to meet one of my favorite musicians. The only thing that made me sad was I never took a photo of that cake. It was the one that got away.
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Wendy Ballen of Capitola is an artist, licensed acupuncturist and Qi Gong instructor. Her Bamboo Art! original paintings and greeting cards are available at Bamboo Giant Nursery in Aptos.