by John P. Weiss
Henry sits quietly in his wheelchair, a marooned shell of a man.
He is old, inert, depressed, hardly responsive, and barely alive. Can anything pull him out of the lonely, dark world he inhabits?
Fortunately for Henry, he has Yvonne Russell.
Yvonne is a recreation therapist, and she uses an iPod and earphones to play some of Henry’s favorite music from the past.
What happens next is nothing short of a miracle. Henry comes alive. Oliver Sacks, the late physician, best-selling author, and professor of neurology, says in the video:
“The philosopher Kant once called music the ‘quickening art’ and Henry is being quickened, he is being brought to life.”
We watch as Henry starts to dance with his arms and sing to the music. Afterward, the earphones are removed and Henry is asked questions.
Normally mute and unresponsive, Henry becomes quite voluble and expressive.
Dr. Sacks goes on to note:
“So in some sense, Henry is restored to himself. He has remembered who he is and has reacquired his identity for a while through the power of music.”
When asked what music does to him, Henry answers: “It gives me the feeling of love.”
As much as this video demonstrates the power of music, it also shows Henry doing something that is deeply important for happiness.
It’s something we can all do but often neglect in this age of rapid distractions, side hustles, and 24/7 busyness.
We read to know we’re not alone
I used to read to my mother.
In her final years, the tremors of Parkinson’s disease destroyed her fine motor skills. Holding a book was impossible.
A lifelong reader, Mom missed the joy of immersing herself in a good book. We tried audiobooks, but she was unable to control electronic devices.
I hired a woman named Suzanne to read to my mother twice weekly when I could not be there, but Mom preferred to socialize with Suzanne. So, I became Mom’s reader, enabling her to experience worlds outside her contorted body.
“We read to know we’re not alone.”—William Nicholson, Shadowlands
Over time I noticed something profound. Because my mother was unable to walk or even hold a book, the world she lived in slowed down.
Conversations became immensely important and pleasurable for Mom. When I read to her, she became quiet and completely transfixed. Meals and desserts were almost holy occasions for Mom.
She was doing something that the rest of us, in our busy lives of commitments and ambitions, often fail to do.
She was savoring the moments.
Opportunities to linger in a positive moment
There are so many things we can savor if we just learn to slow down. We can savor a meal, a relationship, a conversation, a book, a movie, a piece of music, past memories, and more.
According to a psychologytoday.com article: “Savoring just means that we attempt to fully feel, enjoy, and extend our positive experiences. Savoring is a great way to develop a long-lasting stream of positive thoughts and emotions, because positive events cannot always be relied on to make you happier.”
Taking the time to savor the things you enjoy can lead to greater happiness in life. It can also lead to greater creativity.
Consider the following excerpt from an article on the benefits of savoring in positivepsychlopedia.com: “In Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience, authors Fred B. Bryant and Joseph Veroff posit that savoring may be part of creativity. Although savoring isn’t the same as flow — the state of intense absorption that heightens performance — it does share the features of clear focus and attention to the present. When we savor, we pay more attention to details and complexity, which may come in handy later when our brains seek out the raw materials of creative ideas. Experiences that were once savored can become the fodder for written masterpieces, scientific experiments, and great business ideas.”
The great outdoors, kind people, amazing meals, books, and deep conversations are more than just nice things to experience.
They are opportunities to linger in a positive moment.
Opportunities to savor.
Another way to exercise being present
My father used to enjoy summer days sitting outside on his patio. He would sip iced tea, relax, listen to the birds, and daydream. In essence, he was savoring the moment.
What’s the difference between savoring and mindfulness?
According to an article in OutsideOnline.com: “Like mindfulness, savoring is another way to exercise being present, but it takes things a step further. ‘Mindfulness asks you to observe the present moment without judging it and then let go of it,’ explains Fred Bryant, a psychology professor at Loyola University who pioneered the field of research. ‘Whereas with savoring, you observe a specific type of moment, a positive one, and then you try to cling onto it and not let it go.’”
Think about the last time you truly savored something? Maybe it was an amazing dinner with a loved one. Or a relaxing walk with your dog.
Remember how good you felt?
Taking the time to savor pleasant moments is good for your health. As noted in the OutsideOnline.com article:“The benefits of savoring are similar to those of mindfulness: studies have found that it can improve mood, lead to greater life satisfaction, and increase feelings of gratitude and appreciation. But it can also help you remember things more vividly, something mindfulness doesn’t do.”
If we know savoring is good for us, how come we don’t do it more?
Sometimes we have to train ourselves to savor the positive things in our lives. We must schedule time to enjoy positive experiences and special moments.
“I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” — Anna Godbersen, The Luxe
Here are three tips to help you savor the good things in your life more.
Identify stressful, negative feelings
It’s hard to settle into special moments and savor the experience if you are feeling sad, anxious, afraid, angry, etc. Negative feelings must be dealt with.
Ask yourself why you are feeling negative feelings. Identifying the cause of your stress is the first step in dealing with it.
From there, you might seek the advice of someone you trust and respect. Or you can write down the stressor and various solutions. Putting it down on paper makes it less scary and easier to manage. Also, it helps you set it aside, so you can move on to savoring pleasant things.
Beware of cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions are basically unhelpful thoughts. They can emerge from our insecurities, or be caused by a bad experience.
For example, maybe someone on the freeway cut you off on your way to a special event. Don’t let red lights, rude servers, traffic headaches, and all the other little frustrations of life overshadow the good stuff. The stuff you want to savor.
Slow down
This is often the hardest one for me. My mind is always thinking about things I’ve done, and things I want to do. It’s hard to slow down and savor the present moment.
If this happens to you, try slowing down your breathing. Inhale slowly, exhale slowly.
Focus on the pleasant things you’re enjoying at that moment. Silently say encouragements to yourself, like: “I enjoy this soothing music,” or “I love the warmth of this amazing campfire.”
Savoring is the one habit I wish I discovered in my twenties. Back then I was young and full of ambition. Who has time to savor when there are dreams to conquer?
But then we age and after the battles are won what is left?
Memories.
And if we have learned how to savor, then our memories will be sweeter. They will comfort us through our remaining years and beyond the landscape of eternity.
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John P. Weiss is an artist and writer and the former police chief in Scotts Valley. See his blog at johnpweiss.com.