Randy Johnson, Scotts Valley Vice-Mayor
It’s almost Mother’s Day and how are you going to honor Mom? Flowers? Brunch? A thoughtful card? As a forgetful freshman in college, I once thought I had gained a small reprieve when I belatedly sent my mother a hastily picked-out card. I don’t know if she laughed or cried when she received the heartfelt message, “You’ve Been Just like a Mother to Me.” We can laugh about it now, but…
Mention the word “Mom” to ten people and the reaction runs the gamut from wistful tears of appreciation to stony silence. At a minimum, most relationships with mothers are “complicated.” Is she the “Giver of Life?” Well yeah. Any mother worth her salt will remind you of that one. But there’s more. She wipes away tears. She instills values. She protects you. She works hard to provide a life that maybe she never had. And when it’s tough to approach your father with a difficult question or problem, who better to act as your intermediary than your understanding mother?
My mom, Gloria, is in her 90’s. Raising children was different back then. We walked just about everywhere, including school and little league practice. Working double shifts, she didn’t have the time to deliver us and friends to our destinations. Our homework load back then was considerably lighter than today, but still we were pretty much on our own there as well. But the common thread that is shared by generations past and now, is the love that mothers give. Not always unconditional nor without drama, but certainly necessary and appreciated.
I was reminded of this several weeks ago, when my wife and I took my mom to a hardware store where she lives in Watsonville. Lost in the warehouse, searching, I noticed an employee lingering around us. I finally made eye contact and with a nod of his head, referring to Gloria with moist eyes, he told me that she reminded him of his mother. I acknowledged that. But a few minutes later he reappeared and directly told Gloria of the fact that she looked just like his 96 year old mother, who had recently passed on, tragically in his car while he frantically drove her to the hospital. Antonio (not his real name) was now openly weeping, trying to control his emotions. At first, I didn’t quite know what to say, but after a moment I told him, “Go ahead, Antonio, give her a hug,” which he did for a good long time. When he stepped away, he had a wistful smile on his face. And so did I. And the message was clear: a mother’s love, surrogate or otherwise, is the salve and elixir that works wonders.
This Mother’s Day, whether it is a visit or lunch, cherish the moment. And one last piece of advice: be mindful when you pick out that special card.
Photo: Gloria and Floyd, her husband for 70 years