By Anna Marie Gotti
I used to be shy. Some people laugh when they hear me say that, but it’s true. As a kid, I do not remember anyone telling me that it as ok to speak up or that I ever had a right to say no. It took many years and a class in personal self-defense to help teach me about trusting my instincts, setting boundaries and that awareness, walking with purpose and using my voice can help me to avoid danger.
Living in Capitola at the time, I had to go downtown to the Louden Nelson Center, to take a personal self-defense class. It was in that class that I first started finding my voice. I wondered why they had not been offering these valuable Women’s Self Defense classes through the Capitola Recreation Program. It was not until a few years later when I met the new Capitola Chief of Police, Rudy Escalante at a public event that I got to thinking that now was the time to speak up.
I spoke with Chief Escalante about getting Women’s Self Defense classes offered here and he was very supportive and along with his help and that of the City Council, and after receiving generous grant funds from PG&E, there are now various Women’s Self Defense classes being offered at low cost to all women in the county from 16 to Senior as well as a special 8 – 12 year olds class here in Capitola.
I am still shy, but I trust my instincts and am capable of speaking up when I feel it is necessary. One afternoon last April, I was in line to get a coffee and there was a man next to me who was telling everyone around him that he was perplexed by the messages in a local newspaper. The cover story was about Deborah Allen’s film based on her own experience of being raped at age 15, titled JANE. On the back page of the same paper was a young woman seductively posed. When he turned to me, I said that the message was always the same, “Do not rape.”
I told him that rape is wrong and that the article and the image were not mutually exclusive. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with finding a woman attractive and sexy. However, committing a life-altering violent act on her after she says “No” is a violent crime. It is appalling to me that there are men who would justify their actions and women who would ask, when hearing about a rape, “what was she wearing.” Clothes cannot create thoughts, the mind does. Unless the woman says “Yes” the answer is always “No!”
In the long list of things that we teach our children, we should be telling them for safety’s sake, as well as positive outcomes in social and personal situations, to be present in the moment and aware of their surroundings. That they should respect people and use clear and honest communication with those they meet. I believe that as adults we need to practice these values so that we set the examples that we are trying to teach our children, both boys and girls. Be a positive inspiring example, be aware for safety’s sake and show respect to each other.
Soon there will be a special class in Women’s Self Defense known as Girls and Their Women Allies being offered at Capitola Recreation at Jade Street Community Center in October on the 12th & 19th from 2 – 5 pm. This is a class for Girls 8 – 12 years old who attend the class with an adult female family member or friend. During this class, Instructor Leonie Sherman, teaches girls and their allies about the importance of being aware and focused at all times, plus participants learn about trusting their instincts and how the use of voice can be a powerful protective “tool” as well as a few basic physical self-defense techniques. These are important elements to a woman’s personal safety that they can carry with them into the workplace, when they travel or go off to college.
•••
The Girls & Their Women Allies class is $5 for Capitola residents and $10 for Non-Capitola Residents. To sign up for this class, visit www.CapitolaRecreation.com or call 831-475-6115.